I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
