I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
