Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
did you just send me my own nude
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
