i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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