smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
