Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
