I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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