o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Randomize
