My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
