Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
