I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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