Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
