if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
did i just pee glitter
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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