How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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