you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
