But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
