It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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