you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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