I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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