We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
