I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
