He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
