let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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