So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
