Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
