Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
