Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
