Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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