Duck Duck Cougar?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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