so explain again why im purple
no
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
