in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
