I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
