yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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