it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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