You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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