So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
