You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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