3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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