After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
