is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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