Midget sex pt 2 tonight
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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