What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
