these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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