I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The struggles of a small town man whore
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
