do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
