did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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