some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish you could order shots online.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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