jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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