I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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