guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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