My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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