I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am one with the molecules
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
